Jolene and Russell on relationships, marriage and morals!

This has to be the longest title of any post I've written here. Like I wrote in the last post, I attended my best friend's wedding, then came home, went to my local library and picked up a book on people who love to read. Therein, found Dr. Shriram Lagoo's personal experiences of how he started reading and what he read through his medical college years, as an actor which he admitted gave him a lot of time to read. One of the books he mentioned was "Marriage and Morals" by Bertrand Russell. I did some internet searching and settled on an online reader. That said, Russell kills the traditional conservativeness SO, SO, highly prevalent in the Indian society today as was in the western society back then. The European conservatives were not impressed by Russell's rather outrageous take on something of an institution that was made sacred through ages of hard work of bourgeois and puritan value enforcers.

I have also quite coincidentally been listening to Dolly Parton's famous number, "Jolene", and she has me so enthralled by the pleading in the song. Which woman would do so? I think every woman would plead the other woman in her man's life, but with this urge? I was not a Parton fan but she has a new admirer now in me. It was quite amusing to hear the song again and again, to see how women react to the other women in their men's lives. We are projected to be so obsessed and fuelled with desire for a man that our jealousy recognises no limit, in pop culture. I wonder if there is a man song like this written ever? Or is it that men don't feel insecure about losing their women to other men? I am not going to dwell in this talk because my idea of writing this post really came from the feeling that I felt incredibly happy and sing song after listening to Jolene the first time. It has a catchy beat so yes, its hummable and I could sing it all the time but what do other people who hear the song feel about it? I was playing the song loudly when my sister heard it and rolled her eyes over the lyrics! It was then that it hit me about the implication of our own selves in everyday life via music, cinema, literature. How us women are showcased in the very instruments of entertainment on a larger scale! Jolene also makes me realise that since music helps us express our emotions and the poetry essentially responds to the quiver in our hearts, perhaps Parton only voiced what women secretly hoped back then and still do that their man remains their own.

Russell on the other hand has me in absolute awe of his bold outlook on the importance of sex education to be imparted to both the sexes, but of course, the catholic church didn't want to talk of a taboo like that. They didn't even want the word to be heard by children or nuns or men, fearing it will corrupt the social morals and lead to societal decay. The church even considered sex as equal to sin and according to the catholic church, the desire for legitimate offspring is, in fact the only motive which can justify sexual intercourse. Russell writes blazingly about the position of prostitutes in society and how the idea of the recognition of children as one of the purposes of marriage is very partial in Catholic doctrine. He wrote about birth control and women's contraceptive measures finding no precedence in health care system, yes, even back then. I think we have just evolved into a more welcoming society now in regards that very few things shock us all today. Nudity is pretty much accepted and seen harmless whereas the distinction on our views about sex as a sin and natural urge still remains debated. In Indian society, the cultural symbolism of sex is highly a taboo to be discussed in public and it doesn't matter that the movies have more sexual aggression now or the visual media is more widely accessed by the people due to the digital technology. We are still stuck in the traditional reel of repressing our natural urge for body pleasures and equating them with religious sanctimony but perhaps this stems from the age old necessity of keeping the men and women in control like the catholic church thought would help keep a balance in society.

Regardless of all the morals of marriage and chastity that Russell expounds in the book, it is a wonder that our institutional beliefs in the age old traditions and cultural emphasis hardly underwent a revolutionary change across the many different societies in the world. We still cling to the ancient in the vague hope that it was when the righteous existed and that our present is being doomed to a massive downfall. Well, we will see about that. Our world is yet to free itself from blaming rape victims, planned parenthood, legalising abortion, marital rape, domestic violence, LGBT rights or ending child marriages and female genital mutilation. Unless we accept that there is a problem and a greater one to tackle till we succeed to establish a safer world for both sexes, we can't stop or sit still. Russell will serve us reminders to keep the fight going.