The Rebelle blog

I just got some news about something I was eagerly awaiting for since the past few months. I am supposed to be happy but I am not. Clearly the focus and attention from the said news has lost its value for me. Isn't is quite common to find that something we long for loses its prospects after sometime? Especially if these prospects are regarding employment. Career shift. I can't quite fully fathom in what terms this move will reward my future. Will it tie me to a stagnant post or will it truly let some practical issues be sorted out and declutter the existing chaos? I wish I had an idea about everything that happens the way it does. Right now, my brain is in a frenzy. There are times when I wish I had a more diplomatic bone in my body so that I could not let everything get by so easily around me. Once we get comfortable about a position, chances are we rarely lead ourselves to experiment and step up further. It's like the classic life move for women; study, graduate with go...

There is simply too much to do. Too much academic strain, too much to stress about life's not-so-good moments, too much sorrow, too much work I would like to accomplish in 24 hours than I usually get done. This 'too much' is creating a big havoc in my brain right now. I find myself in a constant dilemma to wade my way through all this seemingly messy chaos. Is chaos ever organized? As I go through another round of exams and academia, just for a tiny second a thought about whether this is all really worth crosses my mind. But it's best to shove all this unwanted negative thinking under the carpet. Some days are bad, some days are good, but in the end it all comes down to our grit and self- confidence. Yes, yes, I have been falling into a quite persistent cycle of hopelessness, self-trust and misplaced faith. It's a chakra- an endless rabbit hole where I keep tugging towards a spirit that pulls me down at ends and sometimes just lifts and soars my heart to great...

My friend, Deepa teaches at an Architecture College and we always discuss academics and students. Thus, one fine Tuesday March morning, I landed up in her college to be a Guest Lecturer for her third year Humanities class. I had never addressed a class formally before and was quite anxious about the response of the students. Like some calm reverie, I set foot in the class, was introduced and began my talk. It was a wonderful 2 hour session with a 15 minute break. The students were attentive and quite responsive. Once I felt comfortable talking to them, we had a great discussion on cities and city dwellers. While I was lecturing them on Urban Planning and Mumbai Metropolitan Region, they seemed very eager to visit the heritage villages pocketed in Girgaon, Bandra and Mazgaon. Dee took this idea forward and now after a month, we have a group of students from the same class who will attend a heritage walk with Dee and  me. It feels great to have culminated an idea into such an e...