The Rebelle blog

इस साल की शुरुआत काफी अच्छी रही।  मेरी मुलाक़ात इक नयी दोस्त से हुई। वह इतनी जल्दी प्यारी हो गयी की कभी उसके अजनबी होने का एहसास हुआ ही नहीं।  हम बहुत बातें करते हैं, बहुत सारे विषयों पर - संगीत में हम दोनों को बहुत रूचि है, किताबें पढ़ने में वह दिलचस्पी रखती है और रोज सुबह मेरे लिए कॉफ़ी तक बना लाती है। बहुत मीठी, नर्म मिजाज़ की है मेरी दोस्त।  उनका नाम भी उतना ही प्यारा है, बिलकुल उनके स्वाभाव की तरह। मेरी दोस्त कहलाती है - रजनीगंधा! पहली मुलाकात में उनका नाम सुनते ही मैं गाना गुनगुनाने लगी- 'रजनीगंधा फूल तुम्हारे, महके यूँही जीवन में....' ऐसा बहुत काम बार होता हैं जब हम दूसरों से किसी अवरोध बिना अपनी छोटी-बड़ी बातें बाँटते है, बगैर किसी हिचकिचाहट। इसमें सुननेवाले इंसान के संयम को दाद देनी जरूरी है। मेरे बहुत अच्छे दोस्तों में जल्द ही रजनी शामिल हो चुकी है। यूँ तो यह कहना गलत नहीं होगा की बढ़ती उम्र के साथ हमारी दोस्तियां कम हो जाती है, उनमे से बहुत तो ख़त्म तक होती है। हम बस जिंदगी की रफ़्तार में भागते हुये उन्हें भुला देते हैं। किसी फुरसत भरे पल शायद वह हमें याद भी आती है, पर...

I just returned from a weekend trip to a city I've been frequently travelling to in this year. This trip was special. It was a grand get-together of my extended family for celebrating my Grandpa's 75th birthday. The moment I entered the venue, I was greeted with the warmest hugs and affectionate smiles by my grandmothers, aunts and cousins I typically meet only during Diwali due to our hectic schedules now. The party venue was an air-conditioned banquet hall and I started feeling cold in the very first few minutes of being there when my grandma embraced me in her super warm and cosy arms. I instantly got transported back to my childhood. She is one of the nicest persons who also possesses a calm aura around herself that she radiates with a brilliant abundance. I took my grandpa's cold hands in my own and wished him a happy 75th. He immediately remarked how grown up I looked. I had to tell him it was because of my hair, all messy and tangled from the travel when he let out...

Good writers read more, then do good readers write more? I have always been quite fixated on counter-questioning everything I read/see/hear. This became more prominent during Architecture school. In a sorts, it was the perfect place that allowed me the time and opportunity to become what I wished to. I never possessed a rebellious streak. School was more about competition for the top three ranks. It did not foster the kind of person I would have liked to become. It was cut-throat competitiveness over grades and being teachers' pet. Every child seemed to vie for attention from teachers. It didn't help that my class was full of smart kids, who excelled in sports, the school curriculum and popularity among peers. Since thinking about those days, I now laugh over how each one of us wanted to outsmart everyone else. Architecture really gave an open challenge to a lot of people I met in the beginning. It was supposed to be the creamiest of professional courses, something tha...

On this day today, exactly eight years ago I met somebody who since then has become an essential part of my life. It began with a discussion on 'Illusions' and turned to literature, human existential crisis, historical references and has continued till today. We discuss, talk, argue, write long mails to each other attacking and defending our views on topics that range from Mughals, Indian History, Societal degradation, Art, institutions of marriage & companionship and a lot many things. This friend has influenced and channelled a lot of positive thinking into me. I usually talk of Keats and beauty and truth in the same breath while my friend carefully fragments beauty and truth as ideals and groups Keats with Gulzar. We meet only once a year and that meeting lasts for about an hour or two in which we cram Atticus & Morrie, gender stereotyping, political hoodwinking, architecture and social accountability whilst savouring the absolute pleasure of our brief meetings. ...

I feel over the moon right now. Two reasons; first, I finally seem to have mastered the map of the world and second, one of my dear friends who had been busy studying Law at a faraway place wrote to me after a long time. It's the happiness from two good things that have happened to me today and I am just so overwhelmed. The geography of the world was really getting under my nerves. I had always been a good geography student during school and then also during architecture, when we would roam cities and distant places, with maps, without maps. I used to take pride in the fact that unlike the stereotyped notion of women having no sense of maps and directions, I could actually read them, understand and arrive on locations and could also direct people in need. But this world map was mocking me and teasing about having lost practice of locating places on maps. One of my favourite childhood games and even today, is naming countries and their capitals. I was obsessed with information abo...

Two days of inadvertent internet detoxification did me no good. Instead it served to my ever increasing anxiety of not meeting submission deadlines, missing important mails and also, feeling handicapped about not knowing the world news. I say this with such ferocity as if all this matters hugely. At that moment, it seems like it does. Mostly, our own preoccupied notions of being busy does the bit. Today is different. Everything seems so different and a soothing calm reigns over today. One of my best friends, Sneha got married today. Seeing her in the traditional wedding attire and all decked up in jewellery and make up, smiling every time the photographer asked her to, made me nostalgic of our times together. How in knowing each other since 11 years has made us finish each other's sentences, from passionate, long book conversations to feminist discussions at Anand ice creams, not giving hood to passers by and indulging in endless hours of talk. Our journey really began during...

Lilting music, violin sounds and a mellow afternoon- my idea of perfect time for a refreshing cup of tea and a good book that's about to end. Having spent three years with such luxury I'm spoilt to the core and often long for these afternoons. I remember my professor's warm conversations during thesis, and lazy walks through Fort. I have spent every waking moment with Orhan Pamuk and his Istanbul. Then there were times spent listening to the great Usha Uthup- she's a delight. Everything is so fresh in my mind, Her feminist decoding of 'Bindiya Chamkegi' is original and important and should be heard by every young impressionable girl. We live in such fractured times. I came across this book of Greek mythology and a dictionary on the same while looking for some other books in my collection. While going through them casually, I came upon markings in my handwriting on comparisons with other book characters and my exasperated comments. I remembered my obsessed tri...

Just read this on the internet. Something that I had been meaning to write about too. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Memories... they are potent things... because they never leave us. Even when the people we shared them with cease to exist, memories remain... etched in the deepest corners of our soul. Sometimes they are our source of comfort and other times the reason behind our joy. We often reflect on them when thinking about the lessons learnt in life and every now and again, a memory has the power to completely transform us. But memories can be harsh too. They can haunt you, mock you, break your heart into a million pieces and remind you of all you had and what you lost. But can you really destroy or rewrite memories? No, of course you can't... just like you can't erase them from your mind. ------------------------------------------...

Monday mornings bring monday blues. I fought them all and met my friend, Su to visit Kala Ghoda Arts Festival. My first KGAF visit was in 2007, during my third year of architecture school. Eight years since then and the festival has undergone tremendous changes. From giant art installations and kitschy art work, it has come to TV channels promoting themselves via photo booths. The lack of discipline was a serious issue this time around. People sat, stood on and touched installations! It was saddening to see footprints on sculptures. Is this an over-enthusiasm for selfies or a blatant disrespect for art work on display? Both, I say. Unlike all the previous years, surprisingly, I was done looking around in less than two hours. Here are a few snapshots from my visit there.   A stop at the Yazdani Bakery is always a must when I'm in Fort. Su and me are great fans of their delicious apple pies. On this visit, we were out of luck. Had our usual favorite, Brun Maska ...