The Rebelle blog

BEATLES and MURAKAMI! How do I thank thee for making this evening so pleasurable?! It's one of those evenings where the calm washes over me even as I sit silently listening to the muffled sounds of the drizzling rain outside my living room window. I am thinking of Kafka and stumble upon Murakami's Norwegian Wood playlist on Spotify. You know the serenity in our minds when familiar music makes us feel the quiet pace of a long day and week. My cousin, a musician himself shares amazing music and I believe my musical affinities have since grown from interactions with him. All the troubles seem far away like the Beatles croon on this soft slow evening hour.  These moments of happiness where the flowers bloom in my head and light up memories like diamonds as I take the beauty in the mundane! The magic of the golden hour is back and I want to see how far I can make it to the finish line (if there is one!) and be always home as I explore the blue sea. 

Today is the kind of Sunday when I am too drunk on happiness and on music! All it takes for the heart to be happy is a memory and a warm embrace of love we feel for people and everything around us. This peppy cheer is keeping my spirits high and there is a kind of मदहोशी all around. How happy do I feel! And, I am not going to worry about it being impermanent. Something has changed inside me.  I feel like flying high and away, over the clouds and see the world beneath my wings over a swooping glance! My mind is lost in thoughts as I look back over the years and yet there are butterflies in my stomach about the future. I feel like my younger self from last decade when life was so full of things to explore, the world around me was huge and the eagerness to see it all made it so exciting. Every day was a new experience and I was lost in it, trying to find ways to go more deeper in and it felt like I was everywhere. I remember the laughter and tears, the madness and crazy adventure...

Finally, after a long, long time I'm writing here. Last weekend, I attended and volunteered at a four  day brilliant pop up exhibition of second-hand books at Twice Told at Cowrks in Worli. I met friends, fellow readers, and avid readers. My excitement and energy were all over the place as I interacted and had long conversations with people who devoured books like I do. We exchanged ideas and philosophies that ranged from Rumi, Sufi saints, Architecture to cities and urban planning. It was a sheer pleasure to spend my waking hours in the company of people who read and ruminate. This was about last weekend.  This weekend, because of the terrifying rain scare, I spent it indoors at home. There wasn't any electricity for a good part of the day, but I ended up reading. Went through newspapers and the book recommendations, reviews, also rearranged my shelves, took a look at Goodreads after a very long time. Realized that I hadn't updated it with any of my reads from this...

Hurray! Your postcard has arrived!! This message in my inbox makes me smile invariably. :) Received an email last night and I went back four years ago into that cold October night when I first ventured into this amazing world of Postcrossing - sending postcards across the world . I don't quite remember how I stumbled upon the website but it quickly became a source of great joy to me. It brought me stories from many countries on postcards that took my breath away. Some of them were sending their first postcards to India and it was so wonderful to read their stories. Amidst a not so very good time in my life, I kept receiving postcards that lifted my sullen spirits, gave me amazing insights into the human psychology of being from different cultures and geographies and yet being the same people, everywhere. I realised that Russians, Dutch, Germans are avid postcrossers. I tried to keep up with the hectic schedule of my life and sending postcards while lamenting the lack of ...

It's close to midnight, raining, the tenants living upstairs are creating some ruckus and here I am, pondering over my disastrous cupcake kitchen adventure from the evening. My head hurts badly with a splitting pain throughout my temples and perhaps, I need to pay a visit to my ENT doctor tomorrow. Each year, at least once I suffer from these splitting headaches which are usually only warning me about my ear infections. I am a very healthy person. I seldom miss appointments or work assignments or social commitments due to sickness. But that's because I am really scared of illness and the pain that follows it. As a kid, most of my doctor visits were due to ear infections only. For the past couple of years, I have been relatively healthy and fit with no major or minor sicknesses ever, not even cold or fever that warranted a visit from me to the doctor.  Last Sunday, I was travelling through a mountain pass in my car and happened to witness a magical moonlit night that seem...

I have always given book recommendations to friends and cousins, even strangers I've met at bookstores or during train journeys who have approached me after seeing books in my hands. So, it's still always amazing when I hear my newly-acquainted-with-reading-and-loving-it friend to thank me and share her book buys via text messages. It gives me immense pleasure to go back into my memories and relive the happiness of our shared book reads.  Having spoken to a number of readers, mostly women, I have come to a conclusion that women tend to read more classics and go by reading lists recommended by book sharing websites than men do. It is slightly oddball that there is a category called Women's Fiction but none that is called Men's Fiction. I wonder why? Also, the fact that women tend to keep a track of other books mentioned in novels or generally note down a list of books in fiction and memoirs gives a perspective on the reading patterns of men and women. A few years a...

I watched a very insightful movie yesterday titled, People like us . While watching, it dawned upon me how we tend to run away from things when they seem to get a little complicated. Our best mechanism is holding still and then harbouring the hurt. What I most liked from the movie was never giving up this search for our true selves. If we think and believe in something that feels right to us morally, we should do it. And Family always accepts you, no matter what happens.  So there are these rules that an uncle tells his young nephew which were told to him by his now deceased father. I like the interpretation of them in the movie and definitely think they could help us cinema-goers too, outside the cinema house, in our lives. “The six rules of life. 1. Don't like something just because you think other people will like it, because they won't.  2. What you think is important isn't. What you think is unimportant is.  3. Lean into it.  4. Don't shit wh...

I just returned from a weekend trip to a city I've been frequently travelling to in this year. This trip was special. It was a grand get-together of my extended family for celebrating my Grandpa's 75th birthday. The moment I entered the venue, I was greeted with the warmest hugs and affectionate smiles by my grandmothers, aunts and cousins I typically meet only during Diwali due to our hectic schedules now. The party venue was an air-conditioned banquet hall and I started feeling cold in the very first few minutes of being there when my grandma embraced me in her super warm and cosy arms. I instantly got transported back to my childhood. She is one of the nicest persons who also possesses a calm aura around herself that she radiates with a brilliant abundance. I took my grandpa's cold hands in my own and wished him a happy 75th. He immediately remarked how grown up I looked. I had to tell him it was because of my hair, all messy and tangled from the travel when he let out...

Yes, amidst every single manageable piece of news published in our world is the left out unmanageable piece that did not become the ink in print. Why do we project our unhappiness unto others? There are some questions that make their way into my head quite often. One of the many such is finding ways to rediscovering my potential and being content to the point of happy. I know there are a thousand theories about how being content is the real happiness and that happiness is only real when shared, which I also hugely believe in but at times my cynical side refuses to focus upon. So how did we really learn to manage things? Is this one of those vague terms that haunts people after a certain age? Most importantly, has age got anything to do with the frequent occurrence of such questions? I hope not. Just last week, while being on a site visit, I was supposed to climb a very steep stairway that led to the occupied terrace portion of a skyscraper. My initial first few seconds reaction w...

On my way back home tonight, a little too early than my usual time I came across beautiful bright lights put up in small alleys to celebrate the festive spirit that dominates this season. Looking up from my reverie, I saw a soft glow of red and yellow twinkle lights overhead. It was so magical. That moment transported me in some dreamland of happiness as I walked with a big happy smile plastered on my face. I met an acquaintance on the road and couldn't shut up admiring the brightly lit skies. Can you believe, it just took some lights to spread cheer within me! I also felt a little foolish after a while as I kept my thoughts engaged in this material happiness, but I couldn't care less about it. That moment mattered a lot. It felt like my childhood came alive. But in my childhood I never remember seeing such an extravagant display of lights and flashy street decorations. Things were a lot simpler then.  I think as times have changed, things have left their indelible expres...

आपण किती भूमिकांमधून वावरतो. आपल्या स्वतःच्या दृष्टिकोनांमधून कितीतरी वेगळ्या जाणिवा देखील आपण अनुभवतो. मग गरज पडल्यावर सगळ्यांनाच एका चपखल नजरेतून का बघतो? फार पूर्वी घडलेल्या एखाद्या घटनेची चाचपणी वर्तमानकाळात करताना किती संदर्भ बदलेले असतात. आणि आपण त्यात पुरते गोंधळून जातो. उगाच किती तडजोड करावी एखाद्याने? मन हे दरवेळी झालेल्या घटनांचं स्पष्टीकरण देण्यात किती मग्न होऊन जातं. नवीन लोक, त्यांचे नवीन विचार, त्यांच्याशी जुळवून घेण्यात एखाद्याला येणाऱ्या अडचणी- अगणित गोष्टी. प्रत्येकाची सुरुवात एका बिंदूपासून. शून्यातून. क्वचित आपण अशा निरनिराळ्या स्वभाववैशिष्ठांच्या प्रेमातही पडतो. असूया निर्माण होते. सतत आभासी संवाद कानात पिंगा घालायला लागतात. मध्य असा आनंद मग आपल्याला निर्माण करावा लागतो, सगळ्यांच्या सुखासाठी. खरंच सुख म्हणजे नक्की काय असतं? दडपशाहीच्या वातावरणात जगताना सुद्धा लोक आनंद साजरा करतात, दुःखात आसवं गाळतात. मग आपण असा समज का निर्माण करून घ्यावा कि भौतिक सुखाची व्याख्या हि सगळ्यांसाठी सारखीच आहे? गतवैभवाच्या अनंत स्मृतींमध्ये आपण अडकून पडलेलो आहोत आणि विशेष म्हणजे येण...

I sniffed Jasmine fragrance while rummaging through my mother’s beautiful sarees. I took it in and immediately a series of images floated through my mind like those childhood days when we had lots of flowering plants in our house garden. I called a friend to share this memory and she asked me about the things that make me smile. I kept thinking later and here’s a small list of happiness that I will probably read again in the future and see if the reasons that make me smile have remain unchanged. - A random pleasant memory - Remembering my Dad’s jokes - My mom’s childhood memories she sometimes shares with me - Getting hold of a book when I am not looking for it - A phone call from a long lost friend - My handwritten notes from school/college days - Rereading letters from my uncle and grandpa - Looking at kid photographs from my grandpa’s collection - Fragrance of Fresh Flowers while passing through the market - Rereading excerpts from some be...

Last Saturday, Dad and me went to a Book Exhibition after a long time. As soon as we entered the exhibition hall, Dad turned one way and I turned to the other. We lost ourselves in the long rows of books and only met halfway through the hall after what seemed like hours of browsing. We looked up from our reverie and smiled widely after seeing each other's arms full of books. In the middle of doing all this, we also met a few familiar faces, some of Dad's friends who had come with their kids. I felt very nice to see them running through the book aisles and picking up books and shouting at the top of their lungs about them to their parents. A very gratifying feeling that there exist parents still who are nurturing book love in their children in this age of fast technology. Also, the organisers of the exhibition seemed to be very nice and kind people because they did not reprimand any of the kids for causing ruckus. Usually when I visit book stores, kids seem bored in a compact ...

Okay, I am super happy today. It was the happiest weekend I had in years. The reason being, I met my friend and the family over a function and we all enjoyed and had a lovely, peaceful, memorable time. Nobody and nothing screwed my mood nor were there any unpleasantries that lurked around as they do when the celebrations start coming to an end. Every laughter was so genuine and heartfelt that I never felt like an insider in their family. That is the best part of being well-behaved and popular with your friends and their families.  On a serious note, I had some insightful conversations with people whose opinions matter to me. And they reflected what I understand to be genuine empathy and concern for whatever I am doing these days. It is extremely important to have support systems in life be they in the form of family or friends. Today, as the International Family Day comes to an end in a few hours from now, I would say, be grateful for your family, for the unconditional lov...

I feel over the moon right now. Two reasons; first, I finally seem to have mastered the map of the world and second, one of my dear friends who had been busy studying Law at a faraway place wrote to me after a long time. It's the happiness from two good things that have happened to me today and I am just so overwhelmed. The geography of the world was really getting under my nerves. I had always been a good geography student during school and then also during architecture, when we would roam cities and distant places, with maps, without maps. I used to take pride in the fact that unlike the stereotyped notion of women having no sense of maps and directions, I could actually read them, understand and arrive on locations and could also direct people in need. But this world map was mocking me and teasing about having lost practice of locating places on maps. One of my favourite childhood games and even today, is naming countries and their capitals. I was obsessed with information abo...

......Books, quotes, poetry, words, images, music, conversations, people, laughter, sorrow, belonging-- things that I discover fresh from my memories. Umberto Eco makes me want to dwell into the many confines of events that now lay bundled together in my brain. Sometimes, rain does this- invokes a melancholy of people and bygone events. Music also makes me wander into the deep recesses of my dreams and nostalgia stored away. I remember a time when I thought travel was the ultimate way of getting away from stress and the mundane chaos of everyday life. But even this illusion broke its wings quickly. I realised and understood that travel couldn't substitute for the longing I felt in my heart for things unknown. It was just another route on the way to discovering ourselves, a means to say. Sometimes after reading auto-biographies I fall in awe of all these greats who could remember great details from their early lives or perhaps, they had made notes of it. What an absurd thought...

Two days of inadvertent internet detoxification did me no good. Instead it served to my ever increasing anxiety of not meeting submission deadlines, missing important mails and also, feeling handicapped about not knowing the world news. I say this with such ferocity as if all this matters hugely. At that moment, it seems like it does. Mostly, our own preoccupied notions of being busy does the bit. Today is different. Everything seems so different and a soothing calm reigns over today. One of my best friends, Sneha got married today. Seeing her in the traditional wedding attire and all decked up in jewellery and make up, smiling every time the photographer asked her to, made me nostalgic of our times together. How in knowing each other since 11 years has made us finish each other's sentences, from passionate, long book conversations to feminist discussions at Anand ice creams, not giving hood to passers by and indulging in endless hours of talk. Our journey really began during...

(Artwork by Jonathan Kwegyir Aggrey) रविवारी वर्तमानपत्रात 'इस्तंबुलचा सुगंध' म्हणून एक लेख वाचला. त्यातली छायाचित्रं पाहून मला ओरहान पामुक यांच्या 'इस्तंबूल' या पुस्तकाची प्रकर्षाने आठवण झाली. आणि वाचता वाचता माझा कुठल्यातरी गोष्टीवरून बहिणीशी खटका उडाला, हे लिहिताना माझा हात किती कापरा झालाय. सर्वांची दृष्टी निराळी हे मान्य पण एखाद्या गोष्टीवर एवढी टोकाची भूमिका का असावी? आपल्याला न पटणाऱ्या गोष्टी ऐकून घेण्यात काय वाईट आहे? किंबहुना हा समजूतदारपणा दाखविण्याचा थोडा प्रयत्न तरी आपण करू नये का? बघता बघता नवीन वर्षाचा पहिला महिना संपला सुद्धा. वाचायला तर खूप काही घेतलय, लिहायला देखील, ते कागदावर मांडायला हवं तेवढं वेळेवर. बऱ्याचदा गोष्टी मनातच राहून जातात, त्या सांगितल्या जात नाहीत, मग त्यांची घुसमट होते, त्या तिथेच दबल्या जातात. एखाद्या नॉस्टाल्जिक संध्याकाळी मग त्या आपल्याला आठवतात. त्यावर आपण मनातल्या मनात तेव्हाही उहापोह करतो पण त्या व्यक्त होतच नाही. ही आठवण मग कितीतरी वर्ष आपल्याला सतवत राहते. आणि कधीतरी मग अशी कागदावर उतरते. सांगायचच झालं तर पामु...

Here I am, writing the last blog post for 2015. What a wonderful year this has been! It felt like a dream, an adventure and I also had my share of a miserable few hours, but, nothing compares this year to the others. I have felt new, super charged and have had more faith than the last few years put together. 2015 gave me beautiful new people as friends, as family (I became an aunt to a nephew and niece), renewed my interest in a lot of things I had forgotten in the rat race and bought new challenges forward. I eagerly look towards 2016 for new and better opportunities, new experiences and a new me who will be brimming with happiness and enthusiasm and not be afraid of failures. I look forward to new memories and everlasting love for my beloved and good health and kindness among all. Here's to a year of peace for all, happiness, kindness and equal opportunities for the ones who deserve better and a lot more than they had earlier. Hello, 2016!

I love showing people around this city I love so much! Mumbai- city of dreams, hard work, happy spirits and a melting pot of people from all over India. Truly, it gives an opportunity to everyone. So, when a school friend called up one fine sunday morning to give news that he was in town, we quickly arranged a monday meet. Place of meeting- Victoria Terminus- Trust me no one can get lost here. Although it's said that most people get lost at railway stations, not at this terminus. Our wonderful encounter started with walking past Azad Maidan, through khau galli (eatery lane in english, though its not a formal name!), catching up on the last few years. The stroll through leafy enclaves in Marine Lines made us aware we were starving throughout. A sumptuous meal accompanied with Cranberry Juice and buying Tinkle issues for ourselves which we later signed for each other made for a great laughter session. I kept pointing Art Deco structures, and spouting history too. My friend is a pa...