The Rebelle blog

It's a cold night. I am sitting by the window, and the house is alive with its sounds and smells. I bought some Champa flowers in the evening, promptly put one in my hair and then forgot about it. Just as I was thinking of putting on some music to relieve the drowsiness from the day, some other work has me distracted.  We are working on some wardrobe changes in the house. I promptly work on design software and show 3D images to my parents. They still trust and go with the word of the good old carpenter (Mestry) as we call him. While rethinking for the wardrobe, I realize the vast amount of old junk me and my Dad have harnessed over the years. His is from the late '70s and mine has been sitting there as beloved childhood treasure that includes books, magazines, toys, memorabilia in the form of medals and trophies. I remember what a source of pride it used to be to collect trophies for various achievements in school. Later as I grew up, during college times the sheen of tro...

Today was an exceptionally dull Saturday. It was super hot and my spirits were longing for some greens and refreshments. After doing everything possible to entertain my dull mind, right from listening to peppy music and writing to friends, I gave up and slept for two hours instead. And, how good do I feel now! A nap was all it took to put back some vigor into a drab day like this.  Ah! These summer days.  I am now poised to get back to work. A writing assignment that seems to loom overhead as I keep postponing it. A casual stroll through Facebook brought me to a friend's witty shenanigans there and I was transported back to a time of visiting him last summer. How happy do I feel to remember those moments, reliving them again and again as if on a loop. Everything stands still except me and the memories. Thankfully, I am able to reconstruct most memories the way they are in my head. I also wrote to a faraway friend over email and the simple gesture of exchanging pleasa...

We are all where we should be!  Read this in a book today and as if on autopilot mode, my mind went back through days and months and years from my recent past. Are we all really where we should be or where we ought to belong? A Saturday as today where I have only popped medicines in my mouth and slept to my weak body's content, makes me insightful at this evening hour. All of us are together and yet drowned in our individual worlds. There's much to the situation. Unstable outside and seething inside about it.  Today morning started with a strange dream where I thought I was seeing myself because I could hear my voice except the face wasn't mine. Nor was the house where I saw myself moving about in the dream. Then I woke up and all memory and context of it is gone. I can scarcely remember any other detail although I heard my voice. It is not my nature to dwell too much upon dreams but this definitely got me intrigued until now. Then there are things that we lose...

By sheer chance, I reached early today at the train station. In the past few days, there has been a crazy churning of thoughts and ramblings in my head which find an outpouring here, somehow on the train platform whilst waiting for the train. It got me thinking of the many moments and years of train travelling where there wouldn't be enough time to ponder upon all these thoughts. My twenties were spent in a hectic train travel where the journey would be either spent reading or sleeping. Since it took a good two hours minimum for travel within the city, this little break was essential for recharging the energies. The winter seems brutal this year with temperatures dipping down and me, who hasn't ever experienced the coveted "mumbai winters" find myself adjusting to the chill and foggy landscapes. The foot fracture has been troubling me. Cold has seeped into my bones and made walking painful. The inflammation makes it difficult to traverse long distances or stand for ...

आज अप्पांचा वाढदिवस! ब्यांशी वर्षांचे झाले असते अप्पा, आज ह्यात असते तर.  तीन- चार दिवसांपासून मी अप्पांचा विचार करतेय. या वर्षी, २०२० मध्ये अप्पांना जाऊन १५ वर्षं होतील! सरलीत वर्ष... हळूहळू, कधी फार भरभर. इतके मोठे आम्ही कधी झालो गेल्या दशकात हे उमगलंच नाही. माणसं स्मृतीच्या कुपीत बंद होऊन जातात. कधी आपल्या समोर असतात तरीही विस्मृतीत दाखल होतात. हा स्मृतीचा खेळ फार जीवघेणा आहे. आपल्या नकळत लोकं आपल्या स्मृती पटलावर येऊन ठिय्या मांडतात आणि काही कधीच धूसर होत नाही. जे आता आपल्या सोबत नाहीत, मनाला त्यांची आठवण किती व्याकुळ आणि बेचैन करते. सतत वाटत राहतं- आज अप्पा असते तर गोष्टी किती वेगळया घडल्या असत्या. शेवटी, मन ते! असंख्य गुंतण्याची सवय त्याला. येनकेन प्रकारे स्वतःला रमवण्यात धन्यता मानतं. कुणी असो-नसो, मनाला साथ मिळते ती फक्त आठवणींची.   काही वर्षांनी, कदाचित या आठवणींची धार पुसट होईल. तेव्हा देखील मी अशीच भावनावश होऊन लहानपण आणि त्यातलं रम्यपण कुरवाळीन. अप्पांची प्रेमळ हाक, आम्हाला बघताच पेपर दूर सारून गेट जवळ येऊन आम्हाला घट्ट कवेत घेणं; संध्याबाई, अलकाताई अश...

6th January, 2020. I finished my morning class and was sitting in the staff lounge when one of my senior final year students, approaches me with a cheery Good Morning. He has just returned from Bengaluru and we exchange pleasantries. Then, he presents me this brown packet with a large box of Mysore Pak in it. My eyes spark with happiness as I take it from him. This is how life responds when we are engaged in the daily grind. It gifts us happiness in the form of Mysore Pak (in my case.) Yesterday, on a cold wintry Bombay morning, I reached Kyani Bakery at Marine Lines and met my Swapbook family for a book walk through three catholic neighbourhoods of Sonapur, Cavela nd Dabul near Marine Lines. We hugged and squeaked with delight as friends met after a long time. As we started walking through the now empty Sunday morning streets in JSS road, I became aware of the buildings and people around me. Our conversations reached a zenith as we all laughed and ribbed each other in good h...