The Rebelle blog

मला उगाचच पटकन मनाला लावून घ्यायची सवय झालीय. फार लवकर वाईट वाटून घेते मी. यात तोटा माझाच होतो शेवटी. प्रचंड मानसिक तणाव राहतो मनावर बरेच दिवस, कधी कधी आठवडे देखील. मागच्या वर्षी तर खूप महिने प्रचंड दडपण आलं होतं मला. अभ्यासात देखील मग मन रमत नव्हतं. त्यामुळे एक फायदा असा झाला कि इथे मी ब्लॉग मात्र नियमितपणे करायला शिकले तेवढ्या अवधीत. आज घरातला पुस्तकांचा आणि वर्तमानपत्रांचा पसारा आवरताना मला बरीचशी जुनी कात्रणं सापडली. मी पार हरखून गेले सगळंच अधाशीपणे वाचण्याच्या नादात. लोकसत्ताच्या लोकरंग तसेच चतुरंग पुरवण्यांमधले अगणित लेख, टिपणं, आणि संग्रही केलेले भरमसाठ विशेष पुरवण्यांचे गठ्ठे! माझी आई नेहमीप्रमाणे मला ओरडली कि सगळं टाकून दे, गरजेपुरतच आता संग्रह आवरता घे. तेवढ्यात माझे डॅडी घरी आले आणि मी काढलेल्या मासिकांच्या गट्ठ्यांना ढूंढाळू लागले. मग काय आम्ही दोघं त्यात गर्क झालो तासभर. शेवटी हो नाही म्हणता म्हणता परत मोठा ढीग झालाच परत. मग जेवणानंतर मी मला वाचावेसे वाटणारे कात्रणं नि पुरवण्या हाताशी धरल्या आणि गुंगून गेले सगळ्यात. खरंच! आपण आयुष्यात किती गोष्टींचा संग्रह करतो. कधी आनंद...

My Dad misplaced some medical records in our house and we spent pretty much the entire day looking for them. Almost searched every nook and crany of our newly renovated house. It has been a taxing day more so for me because I had been travelling for two days straight in one of my  most uncomfortable & harrowing train travels ever prior to landing up in this search mission. Now, I've caught an allergic cold from all the dust and still no success in locating the records. So, it has been a very unexpected gift only because I was proudly boasting last week about my immune system and how healthy I am while my family fell ill with allergic cold and from the heat. Life has a way of getting back at us. Is it Karma? Who knows? I certainly don't believe in it. May be, a tiny part of my brain dwells on it but never with full faith. Another unexpected gift has been the surprising retrieval of two design manuals I'd misplaced and thought lost. One of them is an Accessibility Desig...

You know what distracted minds do? I will tell you. They pay bills twice like I did. I am so off my element that I have been paying electricity bills twice a month and this is not just the first time. I have done it at least twice before. Today was a jolt though. Why is this happening to me? Everything feels so disarrayed and disturbed that I dare not nail another coffin as it is with my current state of mind. A very sympathetic friend has unusual kind words for me. He says, "Not everyone and everything is for everyone. Different keys fit different locks." Isn't that an amazing thing to say to somebody who is wrecked severely or so they think themselves to be? My friend also said that life will take care of us, one way or the other. Don't I like his optimism!  I know things will eventually get better but my helplessness over the situation is constantly pushing me over the edge and dangerously making me sway to its unpredictability. I know this is not going to la...

Here I am, sitting by my window, basking in the late afternoon sunlight. My books are blinded by the light, throwing back the rays on their glossy covers, my neck feels baked but so good and I clunk my fingers feverishly on the keyboard hoping to put everything from my mind onto this screen. I went to the sea last night with my friend. We sat there for an hour, talking to our heart's content by the chilly sea breeze wishing there were more nights like these, more leisurely meets by the sea. The night didn't seem daunting, nor did the presence of the many love-stuck privacy seeking couples facing the sea. Something about waves is charming during the day but more resigned at night times. We spoke of love's lost chances, the ones that never came, the ones that could come and the ones we fear to embrace. It's always a wonderful feeling meeting this girl who has and I keep telling her this, a very understated elegance about her. Grace is not just personified by physical be...

All writers are a sum of their experiences. Heard this in an independent movie I saw on a dreary rainy morning. It might be a little delusional to write about seeing the starry night before it started raining so hard that it was impossible not to curse the fat raindrops for blocking my glasses. I ate a giant scoop of cold ice-cream that cut harshly through my teeth and sent shivering down my entire body. I walked in the rain, aware of the water gushing through the streets and through my summer sandals. I don't know why I wear them usually in the rains. Something about splashing water around the ankles makes disliking the rains a little bit more acceptable. Last night, I had strange dreams about my friends who are readers. I met them in my dream while they were tying their shoelaces, ready to spring through glass doors with yellow walls. Amusing how I can recollect these little details but not the actual conversation from the dream. One of them was crying over something and I h...

Suddenly I've started feeling envious of all the 24 year-old youngsters. Not that I'm old compared to them, but I wish I WERE 24 today to possess the same energy, liveliness and excitement to do things. With these thoughts I was reeking in a wee bit misery last night, when I decided to install the Amazon Kindle app on my phone. It asked me a few preferences and rate some books for further reading suggestions. To my utter surprise, I saw books by Cheryl Strayed on the list. I had read about Strayed's WILD because of the movie promotions. So, I started off by reading Brave Enough: A mini instruction manual for the soul, intrigued by its title. The book consists of Quotes that helped Cheryl (forgive my first name calling, but I feel like she is my soul sister after reading the book), go through stressful times in her life while growing up. She writes about noting quotes that inspired her, everywhere in her house and places where she could read them always. I instantly knew w...

So March is about to end in three days. I have written a blog post every day in March, consistently. And I am so happy and proud to have stuck to my resolve of writing daily here. It is wonderful to have thought of so many things daily and have the opportunity of sharing them here. Writing without any inhibitions. Of course, this has made me realise how difficult it is to continue something every single day without pulling any stops on the way. It's not easy to write daily. You know, open the computer, think of words to come out on subjects that vary from feminism, poetry to childhood memories. It does help that these happen to be my favourite things, my areas of interest and so I can speak, write and also read about them tirelessly. It takes even less time to develop an idea into the core of issues to fully fathom what it really means to me. The effects of everything that I have been living daily through reading, seeing things the way they are and choosing to delve into them...

Post-exam contemplations throw a lot of weird thoughts in my mind! They make me restless, almost anxious and leave a severe bitter feeling as to the possible career mistakes I've made so far. Yes, it happens. The urban planning and development reading material already made me ponder over the unemployment and youth factors of which, turns out, I am quite an active member. I am a voluntarily unemployed person according to the definitions in the textbooks. But we know better than to believe these definitions, don't we? I saw a particularly funny GIF that showed a young man in beard running recklessly through a dense forest with the caption- young people tired with society are running into wilderness. My first thought was, what are 'we' young people running away from? What does society do to us or we to society that we feel like running away from civilization? I really believe we are rebels without a cause. Most of us, that is. We get bored easily, tired quickly, disi...

2006- second year of Architecture school. I am tempted to go back to those days and write about them. Rang De Basanti was released and what euphoria it created! I remember youngsters beaming with pride and a renewed sense of patriotism, speaking up in college projects about their nation as it belonged to them. I don't know how they viewed their country prior to the movie's release. What I remember is students debating in excited tones about nationalism and inequality. That was rare. The songs were played at all public functions and it was suddenly cool to be a rebel. BE A REBEL was the cry. The Right to Information Act was passed in 2005 and it ushered a new wave of keeping tab on government affairs. So many things changed. Social media was introduced. Students got hooked to websites like orkut. Every other student in my school would be in the computer lab after school hours to connect via orkut. The concept of online friends and friendship seemed cool and the 'in thi...

Happy 118th Birthday to  F.SCOTT FITZGERALD! A beloved author. Oh! How I love thee! “That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”  I've been swooning over his dishy looks ever since I read him. ;)