The Rebelle blog

पुस्तकांच्या आणि निसर्गाच्या साथीत जेवढा वेळ छान जातो आणि सार्थकी लागल्यासारखा वाटतो तितका खचितच कुठेतरी अन्यत्र वाटतो. नवीन वर्षात केलेल्या संकल्पांपैकी एक म्हणजे वाचलेल्या प्रत्येक पुस्तकावर स्वतःचं विवेचन लिहिणं. सुरुवात तर झाली आहे. साहित्य संमेलनाच्या निमित्ताने आणि वर्ष अखेरीच्या पार्श्वभूमीवर मुंबईतल्या बऱ्याच बुक स्टोर्सनी भर भक्कम डिसकाउंट जाहीर केला होता. मी देखील नाही नाही म्हणता लोभाला भुलून पार ATM मध्ये जाऊन पैसे काढून पुस्तकं खरेदी केलीत वर्षाच्या शेवटच्या दिवशी. टिव्ही वरच्या असंख्य कार्यक्रमांवर नजर फिरवल्यास असं चित्र दिसतं कि समाजाच्या नैतिक मूल्यांशी कार्यक्रम बनवणाऱ्यांच काहीच घेणं-देणं दिसत नाही. माणसांची पतच एवढी रसातळाला गेली आहे कि कपोलकल्पित आणि वास्तव जग यांची चांगलीच सरमिसळ आपण करून ठेवली आहे आणि त्यातून बाहेर पडण्याचे आपले काहीच मनसुबे वाटत नाही. आज सकाळी विचार करता करता माझ्या असं लक्षात आलं कि आपण किती उगाच खलबतं करतो, आपला दुरान्वये संबंध नसलेल्या गोष्टींबद्दल. काल रात्री जेवताना मी कुमार केतकरांचं "बदलते विश्व" हे साधारण दहा वर्षांपूर्व...

Suddenly I've started feeling envious of all the 24 year-old youngsters. Not that I'm old compared to them, but I wish I WERE 24 today to possess the same energy, liveliness and excitement to do things. With these thoughts I was reeking in a wee bit misery last night, when I decided to install the Amazon Kindle app on my phone. It asked me a few preferences and rate some books for further reading suggestions. To my utter surprise, I saw books by Cheryl Strayed on the list. I had read about Strayed's WILD because of the movie promotions. So, I started off by reading Brave Enough: A mini instruction manual for the soul, intrigued by its title. The book consists of Quotes that helped Cheryl (forgive my first name calling, but I feel like she is my soul sister after reading the book), go through stressful times in her life while growing up. She writes about noting quotes that inspired her, everywhere in her house and places where she could read them always. I instantly knew w...

'Shut your eyes and see', wrote James Joyce. And what is it that we shall see, sadly no one wrote a manual for it. Why is it that some people can see things the way they are while others just fail to look beyond the superficiality we are presented with? I wish there were an easy answer. As I sit here, writing behind the computer screen wishing for a boon to understand the mechanism of finding answers to the many questions that plague my existence, it's hard not to feel dejected and cynical about expressing it. A friend sent me a quote about Zero. It reads as follows:  The terms 'void' and 'zero' do not imply that nothing is present. 'Zero' is a point from which the scope for progress is infinite, and 'zero' is complete in itself.  It's this nothingness I am afraid of, aren't we all? There is a vacuum inside us that we all fear. Some people go insane trying to figure out the meaning of this void that dominates our psyche. Oth...

Does it ever happen that we completely run out of words to say or things to express? I have started thinking it has happened to me this month. April is Academia time and I've had hands full of academic work- exams, assignments, deadlines. My work got the better of my desire to write everyday or regularly at least. Now, April is ending and here I am looking towards the many possibilities and events that shaped the past few days. A very interesting conversation that came up between my parents and me last night was about living according to society's will and living on individual principles. While they said, that us humans must make compromises and settle so that we fit in the society we live, my mind was churning exactly different thoughts. One part of me was saying that we ought to mix in the society we live in and other said, we ought to also live on our terms & principles. Is that too much of a chaos to deal with? Why are we so tied with a society that doesn't be...

I missed a dear friend's Bridal Shower. Something that me and a few other friends were planning since a month. Uncertainty is such a game twister. When we are so excited about something, and looking forward to it, and this disappointment creeps in. It has happened with me quite a many times. When it happened in childhood, I would sulk and forget about it. Now when it happens, I go back in time, think about the preparations, excitement, my happy state of mind and the sulk returns and never goes for a long time. Usually it reflects on the family. I blame them if they are responsible or I do torture my own self constantly thinking about what an ungrateful friend I am. I must say, it spirals me into a near depression state and its the worst feeling ever to let down people you love. This time, a lot of things happened in succession. First, my phone gave up, then I had some health (ENT + Dental) issues, which surprised and terrified me. And, it just makes me feel so guilty evermore ...

Isn't it an absolute delight when our deeds or thoughts touch or inspire people? I love this feeling. It's a very small achievement on our part as human beings. To bring some happiness in someone's life without changing our attitude, is in itself an act of kindness. Since we've become so self-centered and obsessed with our own individual lives, such little things do bring happiness. I feel immensely good within my heart to hear someone being touched by my small act. One quote that really got my attention today was this- "I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is when someone openly tells you how much you mean to them. Stuff like that is so rare."  This just took me back into so many memories where when I was told this I didn't like it because I didn't trust the people saying that to me. How naive and foolish I was! I loathed their affection with such distrust. I was learning and I would like to believe I learn from my past mistakes. So...

It's funny thinking of the kind of people that exist! I've recently got acquainted with a guy who harbours an ambition to become a yogi and meet one, lives on organic food, and has given up on most material comforts. Not that I've a problem with his kind of lifestyle, which I know he chose after some fatal accidents a decade ago, but such people only live for themselves. Every time, we have a conversation, I have to listen to the benefits of living such a yogic life, of yoga and such similar things. These people are also so critical about everyone else's perspective. I would never ever want to recommend such a life even to the most impoverished souls if I come across any. It's also exasperating to have a normal conversation about the daily life struggles or any topic prevalent in the world. Basically, these people think they have attained all knowledge because of yoga and hence, discard others' views vehemently. And, I've observed they are so self-cent...

How strange is it to exchange phone numbers with people we know we are never going to talk/meet again! We live such complicated lives that even simple gestures sometimes confuse us. I spend a lot of time thinking about such events afterwards and often come up with 'Oh-I-should-have-said/thought-this' laments. While attending a lecture today evening on a Buddhist scholar and philosopher with connections with Chinese culture, I met someone who is interestingly a Law student and quite aware about urban governance issues. We shared some views on Bureaucracy, City Planning and Civil Services which are hot topics these days. It is almost amusing when strangers make assumptions about our lives which may/may not be true yet they entertain us in that moment. I've had so many memorable conversations with strangers I've met at public meetings/events, and ended up not keeping acquaintances with them. Do they regret it as much as I do now? I've seen that my memory works sha...