The Rebelle blog

You know what distracted minds do? I will tell you. They pay bills twice like I did. I am so off my element that I have been paying electricity bills twice a month and this is not just the first time. I have done it at least twice before. Today was a jolt though. Why is this happening to me? Everything feels so disarrayed and disturbed that I dare not nail another coffin as it is with my current state of mind. A very sympathetic friend has unusual kind words for me. He says, "Not everyone and everything is for everyone. Different keys fit different locks." Isn't that an amazing thing to say to somebody who is wrecked severely or so they think themselves to be? My friend also said that life will take care of us, one way or the other. Don't I like his optimism!  I know things will eventually get better but my helplessness over the situation is constantly pushing me over the edge and dangerously making me sway to its unpredictability. I know this is not going to la...

Sometimes I feel like a lamb. Mostly, I try to be a lioness! This is so strange that we keep up pretences to convince ourselves and maybe, others too, that EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT! But is it? What is it that makes us become these different individuals than who we really are? Because we are all searching ourselves in this big crowd of a world. A lot has happened in the past few weeks. I think I have just fallen in love with who I am as a person. Do I sound narcissistic? I mean, there are times when we don't like ourselves. I was probably dwelling on the same feelings. I no longer do. The events that changed this thinking are fairly normal, everything that happens with a regular person. I met new people because of work, got out of my shell, realised the love that lies outside in the world and here I am, all new and fresh as a dew! It's wonderful, like an elixir that's working on me right now. Good people always bring the best in us! I also saw a movie I had been told abou...

What a beautiful day! I would have not imagined spending another seemingly important day of my life doing all the things I love better than today. I went to the library, picked a Kazuo Ishiguro book, my first from the author to begin on the Bard's birthday. The newspapers had well-written articles on Shakespeare's literary genius and uncovering the man he was beneath the playwright and sonneteer.  It's the love and longing we all desire from our loved ones that makes us humane. In all our capacity as individuals who are rooted with their hearts in their families, friends and the people we connect to over our lifetime. I received a beautiful letter from my faraway friend and she captured the essence of a happy day in few words and drove me to tears. Isn't this an intrinsic quality of us humans, that we heal and melt with a few kind words and deeds? It was Vincent Van Gogh who said, Nothing awakens us to the reality of life so much as a true love. And who could ...

Love words, agonize over sentences. And pay attention to the world. - Susan Sontag. Time is stronger than sorrow. - Mahashweta Devi. Two of my favourite writers teach me about love, sorrow and its gradual burial by time. How I wish life were not 'this' complicated. For every written word, there's a wrong interpretation and a big misunderstanding. Guess we earn all the sorrow and misery that love and words bring with them. If only, human mind and tongues were not twisted in such a vile way that we destroy hearts and people and take pride in doing so. Here's wishing Gabriel Garcia Marquez a very happy birthday and my deepest respects. Had it not been for reading his Colombian journalistic articles, I would have remained gravely unaware of the political and social unrest brewing there for decades. Reading Gabo's (as he was fondly called) accounts of the everyday militant brutality in Latin America in the 60's acquainted me with civil society's worst...

I don't even know how to express this or say that I have just fallen in love with Umberto Eco. It's some late love blooming. He passed away last week. Rest in Peace, Signor Eco. It's some coincidence that I bought a book written by him yesterday and a newspaper's literary supplement had his literary genius covered in their Sunday issue. Everything just seems to be inter-connected. I have begun to have more faith and see more clearly, albeit with my glasses on, about connections of the mind and the meta physical. How else could I explain something as crazy as reading about Balzac and the little chinese seamstress the other day in a YA book and then seeing this Balzac book on a trip to a new book store in town? Sometimes I long for too many familiar details like characters from books that seem to exist in real life or my very placid self succumbing to haywire imaginary plots and situations. Perhaps, this is all a wide array of chaos meant to contain within our human...

In June 2009, I read 'Tuesdays with Morrie' written by Mitch Albom after seeing it on a friend's bookshelf. And, inspired by Albom's return to his college professor, I tracked down my highschool teacher Mrs. Mandira Dutta and called her. I heard the phone ring and Mrs. Dutta's familiar voice from the other side. I was so happy that I could barely speak without being excited. In very loud tones that I didn't bother to lower although I was in my college building, I introduced myself and told her how extremely happy I was to talk to her! She sounded just like she did back in school. I almost could visualize her expressions and her cheery face! We spoke for a long time and then I asked her address and told her that I would like to meet her. And almost the next Saturday, I paid her a visit. She lives 45 minutes from my place and my excitement knew no bounds. As I was getting out of my vehicle, I saw her wave at me from her window and I jumped and rushed to climb t...