"Family"

“What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed in there, regardless. It wasn't just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but something wider, bigger. We had many families over time. Our family of origin, the family we created, and the groups you moved through while all of this was happening: friends, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect, and we couldn't expect them to be. You can't make any one person your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it.” 

This quote is from Sarah Dessen's YA novel, Lock and Key. I have often looked into this quote and her words to understand the concept of family. One of my very first and also favourite childhood movies is The Parent Trap. I was 13 when I first watched it. And till- date it remains one of the few movies I can re-watch and go back to. At that impressionable age that I was, it was very easy to get influenced and awed by movies that portrayed familial bonds and explored relationships between parents and children. One of my other favourites watched during the same time was Father of the Bride. There is no particular reason other than the fact that it showed the beautiful love between a father and his daughter, a love I felt for my father as well. As for The Parent Trap, the conquest of two lost sisters to reunite their parents touched my young heart back then. When I reread Dessen's quote every single time, I travel back in my memories and delve into them as if it were happening again. Some memories so sweet that I cry. Others that I would rather not recall at all. And there are plenty now that I have buried deep into unknown recesses.

I was affected quite strongly when a friend of mine lost both her parents in a quick succession in an unfortunate series of events. I wanted to hold on tight to my own. Every childhood moment was about pleasing them, making them proud. Growing up quite comfortably I am aware of the plight of those millions of orphaned children who have no experience of the love, comfort and care a family provides. This reminder always made me be very grateful to have parents. So, how do we change so much as we start growing up? Where does the energy and enthusiasm vanish? Why do we take everything for granted? As much as we know the answers lie in the psychology of human beings, it stupefies me to see a changed world devoid of the family bonds that we all grew up with. A world of more material possessions and less kinship. It all seems so recent that I as a kid had spent all my waking summers with my extended family comprising of dozens of cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. What has the world come to?

I am so affected by these changes now that as a grown up, I feel its impossible to ever see family reunions with laughter, feasts and hugs again in the near future. Our social and family fabric has disintegrated beyond repair now. The damage has been done. Who is to blame for this? Why aren't we made responsible for letting things ruin to such an extent whilst never making attempts to address the root causes? It breaks my heart to think that future generations of children will never know what families meant and stood for. The entire clan that came together in joy and sorrow and showcased a strength of love is lost forever. I mean every word of it. I have experienced it. And as we inch towards more material comfort, we lose parts of ourselves from the humane bonds we formed through love and care we nurtured for each other. Perhaps, my memories will serve me those golden days and since I can't get them back, I shall revere in them for days to come.