It's been about 20 days that I am here. Every day that I look back on confuses me ever more. Is everything happening because it was meant to be Or I do possess some hold over events in the manner in which they are happening?! It's been a rigorous few weeks in terms of coping up with people, their expectations and the gradual process of falling into someone else's thinking. I find sanity in moments of happiness that are sporadic. I find myself questioning the reasons of being here and am unable to justify them, even in my own head.
The newness of being has transitioned into numbness of being. I find myself searching for answers that have no questions. My heart is stressed even more than my mind is. There is a vacuum in my thoughts and my ever-so-optimistic self is hiding behind this vacuum. The emptiness that stares at me everyday is drowning me into an abyss of misery and anguish. The days are spiralling into a fall that I fear is going to impact me far worse than my mind can make sense of.
It's a wonder I haven't yet lost the resolve to break free through this misery. What am I hanging on to? If only my mind could calm this flutter of anxiety from me and show me a more clearer path of things to come ahead.
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