The Rebelle blog

Aah Shilpasagar! When we(read: my seniors, some juniors and majorly my classmates and me) first worked on the special issue for the 75th year of its launch it gave us something which is invaluable and so precious our memories are intertwined with it! Yesterday, on Dec 16th, 2011 Shilpasagar was relaunched by our juniors and what a proud moment it is for us! The editor of the 75th year special issue, my friend and fellow classmate Pooja described that she had grandmotherly sentiments for the current issue! I wouldn't say grandmotherly but definitely motherly instincts for me when I saw a video of the launch. I wish I knew of the launch. How much I miss not being there! I am so getting a copy on monday for myself! I can't wait for all the nostalgia to again seep through my mind and heart. Oh Sir JJ! Love and beauty in all forms! Give me that part of my life, let me relive those memories again. Once a JJ'ite, always a JJ'ite... not everyone in frames, still a part of it!

Okay, this year has been a bad one for me too. I say 'me too' coz someone else had it too and she wrote about it. Here's what she said: http://www.writingoutloud.com.au/2011/12/a-little-break-and-a-promise-to-myself.html So, i say bad- terrible- in fact, because ever since leaving my academic life, studies, college nothing good has happened. I feel like i would have to sell my soul to make things work out. Because all the good spirit, the triumph through troubles isn't working for/with me! I am increasingly losing out on my confidence, my best traits, seeing myself in extreme negative light, always being fear-stricken, being someone that i am not. I am weak now, in spirits, totally shattered with things happening around. All of them bad, nothing worthwhile, achievements- zero. I feel ashamed and embarrassed to even meet people, my own friends too. Like they keep on doing something in their lives and I am here- doing nothing. Do I even have it in me to make big? Forge