This is us!

I was going through an emotional turmoil last night and used this blog to vent out my grief. Sometimes, well, only a few times, I wonder if my understanding of grief, misery and sorrow is the same that everyone goes through or I am severly meddling these confused emotions I can't seem to word out. Whichever way it is, I felt incredibly better after writing everything here, and I am trying to assert my mind into believing that THAT which hasn't happened yet and perhaps won't take place shan't worry me and cause me distress or unncesarry panic. I suppose I already should be alert at the use of such negative energy bubbles into my conversation here. I am throwing caution to the wind and deciding not to think about anything at all. My heart goes into a ballistic mode once I conjure too many multiple scenarios in my brain and then as if ticking on a machine, it starts weaving these elaborate sequences I deem fit only for fictional accounts. Hemingway wrote A Moveable Feast in Paris while sitting in cafes and observing people when he was broke, and I believe I definitely could make up my mind to traverse the same lengths he went through in his writing. 

I've also realised that time passes slowly in small towns. Since I've been living in one and have started correlating my years of existence to the many changes I've seen this town undergo, I am truly happy to see it slow. Fast never got us anywhere. Maybe it does. But not in the sense of nostalgia and the times we can't recreate anymore. A few months ago, one of my friends wanted to organise a surprise birthday meet with another friend by chalking out a neat schedule for the day. It included binge watching the new season of Gilmore Girls (which I still haven't yet!), baking tarts and just lazying around generally. It never got executed because the said birthday person never had a day off from work and other commitments. Then, it hit me hard of the casualness of our mundane lives. We never seem to live for ourself anymore. All we do is get up and start running in this bizarre race for moving forward, not stopping by to collect anything that gets left behind. Doesn't make sense at all. There were times when we read and discussed our literature, these days we photograph what we read and put it up on Instagram. NO! I am not complaining against the falsity of doing all those elaborate shenanigans but I do reminisce that which is lost forever in this glitter and shimmer screen world. 

Where do we find souls that leap up with joy upon finding their heart's treasure? ME, the eternal optimist and dreamer keeps finding solace in words of hope and everlasting faith in humanity and human nature. I find myself humming the same tune for an endless stretch throughout the day and then quieting with a book at night. This gives me an absolute peace of mind knowing I am living in the moment, each second filled with the nicest vibes leading to harmony. I remember reading through numerous architecture philosophies in the college library that espoused the importance of harmony in nature and earth and this twain creating habitats worth dwelling. I was and continue to be so inspired and awed by these philosophies that impart just the right thoughts into our being that in turn influence our architectural insights. I feel the melody of a youthful life flowing through every atom of my body. This is a very beautiful state of being, knowing the many complexities we wade through our everyday life maze ultimately finding peace within. Nothing stops me from going out with all my renewed new found energies. I feel on top of the world. Here's to our ever youthful spirits and here's to more adventures and ever inspiring stories we share! Amen.