Forgiveness and stuff!

Ever since I was a child, I heard my Dad constantly speak of moral values to me. And not just speak about them, I've seen these being practised too. Integrity and Character are two important assets that I've learned from my father. He always stressed on importance of character in a person. To him, honesty, morality, integrity, compassion are not merely words or virtues but essential components (yes, I use this word!) for all of us to live with in this world.

So today something happened that shattered my belief in honesty of character. I kept thinking about how idiotic people like me exist in this world who still trust people with all their heart. We mustn't, clearly. But then it also made me think about kindness and the loyalty that still exists. So why are there such contrasting feelings being played by people? What joy do certain people get from breaking someone's trust? My anger subsided relatively easily when I realized that we cannot take responsibility for people's character or their choices in life. We cannot claim or expect honesty or morality from them. It's not compulsory to be good to everyone who does good to you just like you can't be bad to everyone who does bad to you. When I was growing up, sometimes I never understood this theory of forgiveness. Like when I read about Priyanka Gandhi visiting jail to speak with and forgive Nalini, a woman involved in her father's assassination. When I first read that, I was amazed and surprised as to why did she forgive her father's murderer? It still remains in my mind like a bright speck. By forgiving others, we let go of the pain. Only is it true? Or like Shakespeare wrote, the quality of mercy is (not) strained?! It is so complicated to show mercy or kindness towards somebody we know have wronged us, perhaps given us so much pain that we cannot endure it any more. Then, being kind, does it make any more difference to us than the benefactor of our kindness?

The Shylock- Portia dialogue has often made my mind run in twists around two poles- the good and the bad. How do we decide something as bad to ourself? Is it termed bad when it hurts us emotionally? Because then, there are a lot of events that ruin our happiness and peace of mind. But do we ever give voice or justice to all of them? I often try to forget the incident that hurts me. It's so difficult to erase someone's kindness from the past because of their betrayal now. I think we keep on churning these terms so much that eventually we have lost their significance in our lives. I constantly have these dialogues with my self over belief in these traditional human moral values and their relevance in today's world. I do it all the time. Should we stop being good or kind or just being nice because others are not to us? Every time I start having apprehensions about being a good human being measured by the yardstick of kindness, morality and character, I remember my Dad's words. Surely our human tribe wouldn't have flourished so much but for these values, right?! I also remember what I wrote nearly a decade ago as a student in my school yearbook about my ambition in life. It was- To be a better human being than today. I am not failing as long as I upheld my beliefs and Dad's teachings. Being better is always preferred than just being good!