Self-talk

I wish there were a way to deal with uncertainty. I know I have reiterated about it a thousand times here, but I haven't exactly figured out a way to deal with it effectively and steadily. All that uncertainty does to me is spirals me into an endless abyss of self-doubt and negativity about my capabilities. Why does this happen so often, is beyond my understanding?! These self-inflicted judgements aren't helping one bit to help me come out of this misery. Worse that happens is I get deviated and disturbed from my path of work. I must find an effective and long-term solution for this problem post in my life. No matter however much I am trying, it sometimes feels that my efforts are way too less and half-hearted. I still have the fear of failure but it doesn't stem from lacking confidence or less preparation; it's more about letting myself and the people who have supreme faith in me down. This has made me so anti-social as well. Of course, I can't go back in time and reverse the hands of time but in all fantasy, I, who always told myself to look forward to new challenges ahead and learn from the past, can't seem to abide by my own mantra.

Expectations create a havoc in our peaceful lives. I can lift the burden of it but not necessarily get past through it. Living and breathing through constantly swaying expectations is the worst nightmare ever for any individual. I also feel increasingly guilty about failing each time I ought to have embraced success. If only it were so easy. Perhaps, I am making a mountain out of a mole-hill but the price we have been paying to fit in this society and world is robbing us of our harmony and calm. If it were so easy to speak and make it happen in reality. Alas! Amen.