Dwelling in old memories..

I was reading some old mails and the conversations with one of my friends cracked me up. It made me laugh heartily, reminded me of my naivety, and his kindness.

We exchanged stories, poems, songs and books read/to-read lists... I reminisce about that nice time in our lives barely 6 years ago. Today, we are no longer in touch with each other.. I would like to, but I think some people really come into our lives only for a short time yet they fill our lives with such wisdom and genuine kindness; it feels like time perhaps needed to freeze itself. If I had the power to do so, I definitely would; not knowing of the future of our friendship.

I think this often happens with me. I befriend someone and we share great conversations and memories which I think will last forever, but they don't. It used to pain me and also depress me knowing all the nice people I knew were leaving me one after another.

But now I've grown up. I still think of all my friends who came into my life when I needed them the most; who filled my life with their love, compassion and kindness. I am forever indebted to them for teaching me lessons that made me a better person. They also made me realize that no one can be in someone's life forever. There comes a time when people move away and apart, yet they all carry the beautiful seeds of friendship they've forged in their little lifetime.

I learnt to trust people, to recognize the treasure they are and discovered my inner-self, in the process.

I wanted to always have my loved ones near me, within my reach and perhaps that fear of losing them made me nervous and turned me into an anxious person. Slowly though, I understood that the more I tried to suffocate these beautiful relations, the more I drifted away from them. Life's really about letting go, at the RIGHT time! Also, learning to love somebody and let them go is a gift and I feel truly blessed to have finally embraced it.

While writing this, my mind is engulfed with so many beautiful memories of my friends and the people who made me realize that loving myself is more important and it will eventually make me give back more than I possess in my heart. To all of you who know me and celebrated my life's bitter-sweet moments, I dedicate this post.