The title has got nothing to do with the dessert and yet I choose it to describe a bad day today. It so happens that after spending too much time in a happy state much like a Gulabjaam/ Gulabjaamun drenched in the saccharine sweetness of life, the occasional bitter gourd pops up to help balance our sugar levels.
Sometimes fear can take away all self- confidence we have built up. It takes days and months and years of such sustained efforts to let go of our inhibitions and come up with a stronger persona that we reserve for everyone. Then there comes a day when this fear peels away our well-developed confidence. It is crazy how time is often the only constant when such a downfall takes place. Running away is out of the question too. Do people, the ones we consider our near and dear ones understand what we are going through? Would they know how hard we are trying to fight back this state of uncertainty? The chaos-filled in my head has distracted and disturbed the balance I sought so hard to maintain.
A nap couldn't deter my thoughts away. I feel awfully disadvantaged at this moment. Gone is the happy disposition I harbored all through this imposed isolation. Trying to keep a spirited facade because it's the only essential tool I can equip myself with to fight away the noise surrounding this depressing atmosphere. The more news pours in, the more we invent ways to preoccupy ourselves is when I find myself vociferously questioning the purpose of running away. I turn on the music louder as the chaos seems deafening. It's incredibly strange to see the visuals surrounding me with their varied emotional spectrum. How helpless the circumstances can make us! But then we have to wade through these waters on our own. No storm can be truly withstood by hoping for miracles. Hoping to strike out all reflections from actions and words that trouble me so much. Leaving here on a note to keep my collective self-esteem in conscious always.
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