The Rebelle blog

I don't think I ever wrote about my love for postcards and postcrossing ventures here. They bring such warm memories. :) I used to eagerly wait for the postman every afternoon. After lunch, and again in the evening I would race downstairs to check mails. And, my joy would know no bounds once I saw some familiar colourful rectangular cards. I would squeal and squeak with delight. I loved reading what the senders wrote to me. Usually, about their lives, their towns, or their love for art history like mine. Every single card with its thickness and the postage stamps brought indescribable happiness to me. Those days I was going through some depressing and stressful times, on academic and professional front as well. These cards perked me up and gave me a reason to believe in kindness and the thirst for human relations across the seas and oceans, across continents. I received many cards from Germany and Russia and each one of them was so thoughtful and carefully picked for me. ...

Isn't it an absolute delight when our deeds or thoughts touch or inspire people? I love this feeling. It's a very small achievement on our part as human beings. To bring some happiness in someone's life without changing our attitude, is in itself an act of kindness. Since we've become so self-centered and obsessed with our own individual lives, such little things do bring happiness. I feel immensely good within my heart to hear someone being touched by my small act. One quote that really got my attention today was this- "I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is when someone openly tells you how much you mean to them. Stuff like that is so rare."  This just took me back into so many memories where when I was told this I didn't like it because I didn't trust the people saying that to me. How naive and foolish I was! I loathed their affection with such distrust. I was learning and I would like to believe I learn from my past mistakes. So...

Good mornings bring such a good feeling especially if they happen to be sundays. I woke up a tad too early today owing to the the fact that I completed my quota of essential sleep. That feeling of waking up feeling so fresh and positive made me so happy. I am still brimming from all this good energy I feel within myself. :) :) Also, a clean and clutter free room gives immense peace to the mind. I realised how messy I have made the entire house, right from the living room to the bedroom by keeping books everywhere. And, I don't stack them in shelves because I need them in front of my eyes all the time. But this is a really bad habit. A chaotic and messy room gives bad vibes and a very distracted feeling. I have felt it all the time and I blamed it on my ever so swinging mood and bad temperament. One reason is clutter. So, clean up the clutter, empty the room and your minds of negative spaces. And take a walk in the outside sun. It works wonders. Sunshine is the natu...

How I love reading poetry! I can't recall the first poem I ever read. I remember we started by reading poetry in school syllabus. But it was being explained to us by a teacher, analysed and taught in their interpretation. My first experience of a poem thus remains unknown and undiscovered. Now that I do know that I like reading poetry, I usually write down entire poems or the few lines that have intrigued me. I have realised that poems convey so much more than prose does. A few lines can affect our psyche so acutely, I often wonder how do the poets do this. Many of them say they write what they see and feel, only in less words. I find this extraordinary. I have known some people who have poetry on their tongue. They can recite lines after lines with an impact that could numb senses. Because of easy access to Internet these days, it has become very easy to search poetry. A few years earlier, when I had just discovered that Charlotte Bronte also wrote poetry, I searched so ...

Some people have the amazing power to play with our minds. Perhaps, we ourselves give them that key to messing with our heads. Howsoever much I try to move on from the hurt, betrayal and disappointment, she comes to haunt me again! Indeed, this must be re-playing with top speed inside my brain. And out of decency and respect, when I haven't even disclosed our problems to anyone, she questions me about it. Is this being straightforward or people have no shame? I dislike venting and harsh words, because I believe in forgiving and forgetting. This, however, is stuck to me like an ancient ghost. I have decided to stop responding. Enough now. If it's affecting me so much why should I give it so much importance? Detachment from all evils and sins, is the mantra. A cup of green tea should do some wonders. And, the only solution to this is immersing myself in work. In fact, all broken hearted, jilted people must adopt this! Drown in good things- work, studies, reading, an hobby, ...

I've been talking to a lot of people these days. This is for one of them. While interacting with different age groups, I've realised how much I get to learn from them. Sometimes I've felt too stagnated and opinionated on certain issues, these people help clear the fog instantly. Also it's a great idea to put forth our views without feeling repressed or judgemental about them too. I believe when such freedom of thought is accorded, people open up more comfortably and the conversation gets a direction. In this age of instant communication mediums, we've lost that subtle art of expressing our feelings. There are a hundred messages from our coworkers and friends and acquaintances all that begin and stop within two sentences usually: "Hi. What's up? Been long." Not that I wouldn't be happy when someone I haven't spoken to in ages greets me first, but the happiness is really short lived when I discover we don't have anything to carry further ou...

Oh, how happy I am! It's always a joy to know new things. I attended a public lecture last night on Ancient Board Games in India and World. It was a fascinating insight into something that originated centuries ago and then spread and grew all over the world. I am not into games. I never was. However, I attended the lecture because it was conducted by Dr. Irving Finkel who is also a curator of the cuneiform tablets from Mesopotamia, at the British Museum. I have a rather high regard and respect for museums, ever since I was a kid. My Dad being the reason. I remember our city trips in summer would be to the museums. Mumbai has two: The Prince of Wales now known as Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Museum; and Dr. Bhau Daji Lad museum. We always attended the exhibitions and spent hours on end, watching transfixed the sculptures, paintings and exhibits. It was all I could ever want from my father- Time and wisdom! Museums are an education in themselves. My first impression of Dr. Bhau ...

It's funny thinking of the kind of people that exist! I've recently got acquainted with a guy who harbours an ambition to become a yogi and meet one, lives on organic food, and has given up on most material comforts. Not that I've a problem with his kind of lifestyle, which I know he chose after some fatal accidents a decade ago, but such people only live for themselves. Every time, we have a conversation, I have to listen to the benefits of living such a yogic life, of yoga and such similar things. These people are also so critical about everyone else's perspective. I would never ever want to recommend such a life even to the most impoverished souls if I come across any. It's also exasperating to have a normal conversation about the daily life struggles or any topic prevalent in the world. Basically, these people think they have attained all knowledge because of yoga and hence, discard others' views vehemently. And, I've observed they are so self-cent...

2003! My first year of Junior College. Till that point, I had a very limited world. I knew some selected friends from school and it was usually home to school and back. The junior college acquainted me with vernacular medium students for the first time. It was great fun to try to speak in Marathi because most of them couldn't process English quickly. I got some of my best friendships there. LIVI, my bestie since 2003 now, is one of the nicest persons I've met in my life. I remember when we had just introduced ourselves in class and during the lunch break, she called me to share food. It was my foray into a warm friendship that would last for many more years to come. Our talks revealed our book love and thus we started staying together, leaving by the same train after college hours. One morning, I was late but was so excited to tell her something. I had heard Enrique Iglesias's song "Rhythm Divine" on TV the day before and was so enamoured by it. (Now that I ...

As I have written here in so many posts, all my childhood memories with Daddy are beyond precious. Him and me shared very little time when I was young because he was posted in another city and me & my mother lived in another small town. He came home on weekends and those two days, Saturday & Sunday, were my days with him. I would accompany him everywhere, wherever he went. To the market, the artillery canteen, to the town on long scooter rides. We would deliberately go around faraway places and then he would stop the scooter by the road where hundreds of Gulmohar trees stood tall, way back in 1995-96, almost twenty years ago. Dad would make me sit on the scooter and pluck Gulmohar flowers or sometimes he allowed me to stand on the scooter seat and reach for a bent Gulmohar branch. We would then sit for a while watching the vehicles drive past on the road. Back then, vehicles were a few and the roads were often empty. I remember those breezy encounters on Hamara Bajaj towa...

I always thought social networking sites don't really show the real faces of people. But as it turns out, they do. I was wrong in my opinion. I have had the good fortune of knowing the TRUE face of friends and their friends who became mine, after a while. It's truly a wonderful world. The more we try to forgive people, the more vile they seem to be in reality. And, isn't it really a good thing that they are exposed, the earlier, the better for us! Trust and Kindness are two good traits we must not seemingly waste on everyone, even the one's we think are close to us. I know this thought sounds unruly and selfish, but believe me, people are always moving around in masks. They have masked their real faces, and personalities, so we unfortunately fall for the sugary, sweet demeanor which really is just a ply on their part. Seriously, just chuck all those self-help books that tell us all the time to be kind, good-natured, trusting souls. Apparently, in this age and day,...

आज मैंने अमृता प्रीतम की कुछ कविता पंक्तियाँ अपने चुनिंदा दोस्तों को मेसेज कर दी फ़ोन पर। उनमें से मेरे प्रिय सखी ने कहा की उसे कविता में personification यह प्रकार बहुत भाता हैं। मैं बेहद प्रसन्न हो गयी, सुबह- सुबह। फिर अमृता प्रीतम से मुझे इमरोज याद आये। मैंने झट से इंटरनेट पर इमरोज की कविताएँ ढूंढ़ी। मन चाहा की सब लोग उन्हें पढ़ें। तो बस, उनमें से कुछ यहाँ प्रस्तुत कर रही हूँ। हमउम्र ज़िंदगी खेलती है पर हमउम्रों से... कविता खेलती है बराबर के शब्दों से, ख़यालों से पर अर्थ खेल नहीं बनते ज़िंदगी बन जाते हैं... रात-दिन रिश्ते भी खेलते हैं सिर्फ़ मनचाहों से उम्रें कोई भी हों ज़िंदगी में मनचाहे रिश्ते अपने आप हमउम्र हो जाते हैं... सभ्यता इतिहास कहता है कि सभ्यता से पहले बंदा जंगली था, वहशी था पर १९४७ कह रहा है कि सभ्यता के बाद भी बंदा जंगली भी है और वहशी भी... रंग काले रंग को कभी भी कोई रंग नहीं रंगता... काली सोच को भी ज़िंदगी का कोई रंग नहीं रंगता... ज़िंदगी जीने लगो तो करना फूल ज़िंदगी के हवाले जाने लगो तो करना बीज धरती के हवाले...

There is so much chaos in and around our lives. Everywhere one looks at, there is noise, outrage, unhappiness, distress and uncertainty. When did this happen? We have become such slaves to lifestyles that chaos has become an essential part of us. Don't we all long for some solitude? That ME time, away from people and places increasingly! There are retreats now customised solely to help us achieve this inner peace and calm that we have been searching for from the vagaries of our busy lives. Nature has become a friend suddenly. So many people go on weekend trails and hikes on mountains, which is absolutely great. It also tests our physical fitness while really getting us acquainted newly with the many facets of nature. We miss out on so many things during the daily chaos. Even children who were thought to live stress-free lives for generations are now found to suffer from depression and anxiety. This is becoming worrisome. In our longing for better lifestyles and living conditi...

Has it ever happened with anyone else that we meet some person, get charmed by their talk and later find out about the various interesting things they've done in their life? I recently got to meet one such person. She works with National Geographic Traveller, India magazine. We hit it off instantly over books, the 90's, social structure and so many varied topics. In fact, we are members of the same library. I felt so good to meet such a wonderful person after a long time. That doesn't mean, I don't meet nice/good people. I do. It's just that sometimes I take so much time in knowing a person that it feels like I like solitude around me, which is not true. I am a people person. Okay, maybe not an out-going people person, but I love meeting people who initiate and carry great conversation that more or less matches my enthusiasm. I rarely open up before strangers. Some strangers just don't seem like one. Talking to them makes us feel like we've known them for ...

Some days I wonder: 1. How important is happiness to us? 2. How important is it to express our joy? 3. How important is laughter, on a daily basis? 4. How important is it to share our feelings? 5. How important is it to exhibit love? These five questions are essentially what makes life worth living. Our existence irrespective of our monetary possessions, actually revolves only around these five questions. If there are more, I would be happy to know them.

Now that there are a ton of exams that I'm preparing for this year, and one of them happens to have a compulsory paper on my mother tongue. It suddenly seems daunting to take on a language I've loved since my childhood. And, not just loved, I was (am?) very good at it. How did I assess myself to be good? Because I read a lot of Marathi books, children's magazines, newspapers. These days, and ever since I started Architecture school, the only language that I've conversed, breathed, thought and read is English. It's the universal language. Everybody in India understands English these days. Speak of Globalization. So, Marathi is where I am a bit nervous. Not that I don't speak the language anymore or I've any trouble with it, but increasingly over the years the relation and affinity have spiralled downwards. Not that I had many friends who spoke the language and the few that did, were speaking a horrible mix of English, Hindi and Marathi. Nothing gets mor...

Alright! Who knew changing blog addresses would be such a hassle? I certainly never did. It's exasperating trying to rename my blog ID on wordpress. It asks me 4 questions and these questions are so darn difficult to comprehend. Why don't they simply allow users to rename the blogs and let them import their old posts without having to worry about losing all data? I am at my wit's end trying to understand the workings of wordpress. It is a complicated website. For people like me, who prefer simple lines and simple instructions, wordpress just blows us with their complex usage. I know it's probably not good to rant about it here, on THIS blog, but Lord help me with the renaming! This is paranoia now, on my part. I can't get to change the name. I wish I had never started it in the first place. It's also crazy to own three blogs, under different names. Thankfully, they all share the same password. Less of a hassle there. I would go nuts figuring out and resett...

कभी सोचा ना था के यह मेरे साथ भी होगा।  पर मैं तो अक्सर बहुत कुछ सोचती नहीं और वह होते रहता हैं। जब तक उसका एहसास हो, वह बात और समा गुजर चुके होते है। क्या यह मेरी कमजोरी है या मेरा अँधा विश्वास लोगों पर, चीज़ों पर, वक़्त पर? शायद बहुत ज्यादा मासूमियत से बर्ताव करने की आदत हो चुकी है मुझे, इसलिए ऐसे जब कभी मन को ठेस पहुँचती है तो सहा नहीं जाता।  खैर, अब ये उम्र ही क्या और ये ज़िंदगी ही क्या जिसमे गिले- शिक़वे ना हो? अपने आप में रहने का कोई मकसद नहीं ना ही खुद को जलाकर रौशनी फैलाने की चाह रखने की उम्मीद रखे। दुनिया बड़ी जालिम है जनाब, कही हम यहाँ आकर अपने आप को ही ना मिटा दें। बस इतना याद रखें की ज़िंदगी बहुत छोटी है, जो गुजर गयी वह कल की बात थी। आनेवाले सूरज को अपनाओ, इतने से तो लम्हें हात लगें है हमारे।